US AND HIMTranslated by Esther Sarfatti
Just a few hours before Poisson’s victory, I began writing in an attempt to anticipate his inevitable transformation into a myth, describing it as objectively as possible and do everything in my power to prevent this event from overwhelming all of posterity.
Poisson’s fame, and the obsessive admiration that so many had for him (expressed through statements such as “He plays like God”) was, to my understanding, what allowed for the mere possibility of the Match to be considered. The powerful torrent of demands for the event to take place snowballed into the ultimate encounter between Poisson, the most gifted chess player of all time, and God. I dare assert that there had never before been as much speculation about human intellectual capacity, nor had so much presumptuousness been displayed as in the defense of the champion’s talent made by a large part of humanity. Actually, taking chess as the only point of reference, the differences in the players’ qualifications were overwhelming. Poisson, as we know, was very precocious in learning the secrets of the chessboard. He became a national champion at age ten and was winner of the juvenile category and Grand Master by twelve. At age eighteen he became world champion with an admirable victory, discouraging anyone who may have hoped to beat him in the near future. When it seemed like his reign would be absolute and long lasting, he refused his challengers and abandoned his crown and chess playing for over twenty years. Offers of large sums of money encouraged his ostentatious return to the game, and he won back his crown in an even more convincing manner than before. From that point on, he defeated every possible adversary, single or multiple, ultimately nullifying any human rivalry.
God, his adversary, had no recognized chess-playing skills at all, notwithstanding his immense prestige in other spheres of influence. Even so, from the beginning he had the support of believers of all monotheistic dogmas. Due undoubtedly to its strength in numbers, the Catholic Church took charge of all divine representation for the Match. Although some hesitated and others refused, the Vatican didn’t think twice about handling the Supreme Being’s terrestrial representation. As such, the Vatican negotiated the conditions of the competition and the amount of prize money, which could not seem excessive when compared to the stakes of the Match.
Now that it’s all history, one may forget that what happened was only one of the many possible outcomes. It’s worth remembering that when the challenge was still a fantasy, Poisson had said that he would be willing to play a simultaneous match. Many took the opportunity to imagine the different techniques and playing styles characterizing the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.
I suppose that, foreseeing the theological difficulties that might arise in the event that, for example, God the Son was defeated, God the Father was victorious, and the Holy Ghost tied after a long, hard game, the Pope dismissed such a prospect. As the spokesman for the divine rival, the Pope declared that God’s playing would be carried out in a unanimous and undivided fashion, and that His presence would be as discreet as ever, a condition that was reluctantly granted to Him.
From that moment onwards, we witnessed an extensive yet innocuous rivalry between atheists and believers. The definitive confirmation of human capability was assigned to Poisson, though for the atheists, its validation posed an additional problem. How could they reconcile the negation of God with the possibility that He might lose a game of chess?
It wasn’t any easier for the faithful to accept the most spectacular ratification of God’s existence through something so lacking in mysticism as a game of chess. As a result of all of that, the symbolism attached to the Match was so bewildering that no one was ready to die or kill for the encounter’s significance or lack thereof (please excuse the weakness of this argument, but it’s the only one, as I see it, that explains the incredible absence of physical violence in this case).
On the long-awaited day of the Match, I took my seat—that privileged position which had cost me all of my savings—in the room where it would take place, sharing the discomfort of the judge who had to say, in following with tradition: “May the best man win.”
I attest here to the ingenuous awe with which all of humanity watched the first move of the white pieces, assigned to God. Though it was a most conventional move (P-K4), that shifting of the pawn, guided by the supreme, invisible hand, crushed centuries of incredulity with devastating simplicity.
Apart from that, in what we assumed to be the caution understandably befitting this first encounter, the contenders were happy to accept a quick draw. No one asked for more; some complacently watched the apparently automatic motion of the white pieces, and others admired the skill with which Poisson moved his own.
On the other hand, right from the beginning of the second encounter—the white pieces now in Poisson’s hands—God’s game proved to be sloppy, characterized by an unthinkable lack of imagination for One responsible for the whole of Creation. As they watched the Almighty commit a series of outrageous blunders, I remember the Vatican experts’ discourse on the inscrutability of God’s designs, followed by a string of theories on the importance of sacrifice tactics in exchange for certain strategic advantages. The moment came when all those following the game understood that only a miracle could save God from being defeated. “Nobody better than Him to make it happen,” murmured the Almighty’s followers, smiling nervously. At the same time, as Poisson’s followers and proponents of human competence, we understood that, in spite of the first, revealing move He had made with His pawn, we had never seriously thought that God could be defeated, even for just one game. I attest to the fact that even the most obstinate atheists, like myself, were waiting for the miracle. In any case, Poisson was the first to call checkmate. My eardrums still reverberate with the uproar that followed the fall of the black king. Many clamored that the Match must be suspended, due to sacrilege, and investigations be carried out to prove that the Supreme Maker’s place in the second game had been usurped by the Devil, or Death, or the Invisible Man. When news that a typhoon had hit the Philippines broke one hour later, this turned uproar into definite chaos, as the natural disaster was attributed to the wrath of the defeated. Later on, when word came from Rome (“God is ready to proceed with the Match”), nobody knew what to say. And here I would like to introduce a personal observation which I deem conclusive, taking some distance from the facts: Poisson’s usual arrogance immediately gave way to an almost humble countenance; in his press interviews, he showed his Adversary a degree of respect completely undeserved by Someone exhibiting such inferior playing skills.
I understand that, for the most part, people under so much momentary pressure generally will not pay attention to details like that one. Only someone like me, obsessed with analysis and objectivity, could find time to derive a sensible conclusion from the more subtle points of the Match. This is why I dared, so prematurely, to divide the Match into two separate moments. In the first, thanks to two draws and the Creator’s only success, Poisson’s strengths were seen less as heresies and more as concessions from God in order to make the encounter more interesting. The second moment was defined by the growing certainty that Poisson would be the winner. This conviction was the one that pushed the Creator’s fanatics to use the catastrophe in the Philippines as proof that the world would end as soon as Poisson won the Match. In the midst of such threats, Poisson became increasingly humble, yet his desire to attain a decisive victory grew with every encounter. In the last game, when his victory was only minutes away, Poisson was the only one who desired it. Even his most avid supporters were hoping that something would happen to avoid the defeat of the Eternal and its imagined repercussions. I remember a fierce atheist sitting near me, who had held up a sign reading “Poisson: kick His ass!” on the first day of the Match. Now the same man, on the day of the last game, shamelessly held up a sign that begged, “Poisson, think of the rest of us”. Of course, his plea was ignored, as Poisson had no time to think of anything but his game. When the invisible hand declined His king, we held our breaths in unison. As I was one of the few who didn’t close my eyes, I witnessed the instant in which Poisson ceremoniously stood up and held out his hand, to shake and be shaken by that of his Rival.
Any future statement to the effect that we weren’t relieved by the news of the earthquake in Greece is untrue. Its two thousand-plus victims seemed minimal compared to the hecatomb we were expecting. Those who were so terrified a few hours before were soon ready to celebrate a victory, one of which they felt they’d been a part. Everyone anxiously awaited the press conference where Poisson—who some even began to decorate with the attributes of a new redeemer—finally appeared.
Poisson’s declarations to the press confirmed the fact that he finished the Match having learned a few things above and beyond simply exercising his chess-playing skills. With the same humble tone that characterized his latest statements, he affirmed that imagining God as a vain tyrant, ready to show his power at any moment, was in fact the worst of heresies. Describing Poisson’s tone as moving would be excessive, yet he declared that only the truly Almighty could have the luxury of being so humble and wise as to accept his defeat and show his infinite and acclaimed goodness in a new light. As for me, I only hope that the lessons Poisson learned that day will be sufficiently long lasting. I doubt it, though, for immediately a journalist, obviously hoping to squeeze a disquieting statement out of him, asked what he thought about the earthquake in Greece. Poisson’s cutting retort insinuated that linking such an event to the Match was the equivalent of considering God a sore loser, assigning him a meanness unfitting to His dimensions.
And last but not least, here is the most important evidence of the change that the Divine Virtue caused in Poisson: the player’s splendid decision to donate the prize money he had won in the Match as aid for the earthquake victims. Even so, some people still have a hard time believing that such a gesture revealed more generosity than guilt. Before such lack of faith, I can only imagine how worthwhile it would be to persuade God to play another Match simultaneously with all of humanity. Perhaps that would be convincing enough.

